Swap
by Raachuu
Summary: Mello and Hal somehow swap bodies. And fortunately for Mello, he's now got unlimited access to his beautiful obsession, Near. But how far will he go? And why doesn't Near enjoy "Hal's" new attention? Would he rather have someone else? A MelloxNear fic.
1. Blind

**Well, this just popped in my head right before I went on stage for a recital. And I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I just knew I HAD to write it. WARNING: BODY SWITCH, YAOI, AND SEXUAL THEMES.**

**Also, This is NOT a Hal x Mello fic. Dunn be ridiculous.**

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**Mello's POV**

I watched a sleeping Hal whom had crashed on the couch after a long day of work. She never slept around me... she was much too cautious for that. But now... she was just sleeping like a little baby.

I can't help but wonder about her relationship with Near. Do they talk about private things, not pertaining to the Kira case? Did they do anything physical, despite her older age? What did they do? I wonder...

I got up, setting my chocolate bar on the glass coffee table and crept over to her. Hal's mouth was popped open, a little drool dribbling out of her mouth. No one ever got to see Hal in such a vulnerable state... I felt honored.

I imagined all the horrendous things I could do to her... My first thought was, I could kill her. My second, was that my sexual tension that was all thanks to Near, could be released brutally and painfully on her. Third, I could kill her. Fourth, I could kill her. And fifth, I could kill her.

Killing her seemed like an interesting option. And it was open for debate. She'd be out of my way, and she wouldn't be around Near anymore...

Why did her being around Near bother me so? Well, she was attractive, for one. But was Near the kind of person to fall for a pretty face? No... that wasn't the main problem. She was smart and talented. Not nearly as smart and talented as ME of course. But still, smart enough for Near. Plus, she was a woman after all.

I couldn't picture it. I just couldn't picture her at Near's side. Him holding her and telling her he loved her. I just didn't see it. I tried to imagine it, but all I got was myself holding Near, telling him he was MINE forever and ever. My property.

Disgusting. What a horrible image... or was it?

Near naked, now there's something. Mmm...

I absently liked my lips before I realized that I was beginning to drool, almost as bad as Hal was. Stopping myself I brought myself closer to her, my face right in front of hers.

"I hate you, Hal." I hissed, "I hate you for being so close to Near. You get to be around him every single day. You stupid whore, I bet you'd suck him off if he told you to. I can see you wanting him to play with you, like he does his stupid little toys."

Yellowish eyes blinked open to stare at me, "Mello?" She asked groggily, "What-"

"I was going to wake you up." I said, rising over her, watching as she quickly sat up, rubbing her eyes before watching me warily, over-cautious bitch. "I'm hungry."

"You have your chocolate. Mello, I don't mind you being here, but you don't need to pester me about food." She stood up, cracking her back and looked out the window, "Oh... it's late and raining. I need to head over to the headquarters to check with Near. Stay out of trouble, I'll be back." She grabbed her coat and umbrella and headed to the door.

"While you're out, you need to grab more food. You're fridge is an empty wasteland." I snapped, plopping on her spot on the couch, it was still warm from her leftover body heat, flipping on the television, and turning to the news, what is Kira up to?

"Alright, remember, if you run, all I have to do is tell Near that you were with me and-"

Ugh, this again, "I know, I know, you don't have to repeat yourself. Go away."

She nodded, her lips pressing in a thin line, and walked out the door.

"Bitch." I grumbled, turning up the TV volume began the thunder began to get louder.

Nothing interesting was on the news, so I just turned to some yoga channel, watching as fat ugly women stretched to annoying pop music. Damn Kesha... what is up with all these new singers of today? I mean, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Flo Rida? What the hell? Music these days...

The thunder started to get louder, the lightning grew considerably brighter, until it was just lighting up the whole dark house.

"I hate Hal. I hate that Hal is taking Near from me. I hate her. I wish I could see what they do. See how they work together... I just wish-"

Another flash of lightning, the brightest flash so far, and the power flickered off. Everything was dark, there wasn't even any light provided by the window. All the streetlights had went out, too.

"Dammit." I grumbled. Nothing to do now, no TV, I couldn't even cook food. I sighed, Hal wouldn't be back for a while, I might as well just take a nap...

**Hal's POV**

Mello was acting strangely, I thought, drumming my fingertips on the steering wheel, waiting for the light to turn green so I could continue to the SPK building.

Maybe all this rivalry with Near has finally gotten to him. I even heard him grumbling, 'Near' in his sleep. That would be something to talk with Near about...

I drove past the intersection, and pulled into the SPK parking lot, climbing out of my car, but not before popping open my umbrella. Holding my rain shield above my head, I hurried into the warm SPK building. I pushed the button to the elevator and right before the doors opened, the lights flickered, and then powered off.

"..." I sighed, I should have expected something like this would happen, what with the stormy weather outside. I could be at home sleeping to the nice pitter patter of the rain... Well, I COULD if Mello wasn't raging about my cozy home sweet home.

There was absolutely no light, I could take the stairs, or wait until the power came back on. I took a step forward, deciding to use the stairs, and felt my way cautiously down the wall.

I felt like I was blind, having to feel around in the dark like this. This must what it might be like... to be blind. If a blind person experiences a power shortage, they wouldn't have any trouble feeling in the dark like this. They would be well experienced with this kind of dilemma. Already knowing where to go, and what to do if the situation ever arose. They couldn't see anyways...

I always wondered how a blind person felt when they were blind... A stupid question I know. But really, behind their eyelids, or that milky film that hangs heavily over their eyes, what do they see? Is it just like a dark tunnel? Never seeing anything before them? Or was it a bright white light?

It must be hard to explain. Mello might be able to explain, if he tried... he's already blind enough as it is... So young and blindingly trailing down the wrong path. The path of evil. What must it be like, always hide in the shadows... in the dark?

I reached the stairwell, and pulled open the door. Surely walking up a stair case must be easier than walking down one, right?

Wrong. As to be expected, I tripped, already a little ways up the stairwell and began to fall. My last thought before I blacked out was: _this is bullshit..._

**Mello's POV**

I woke up to an aching pain in my lower back, my head throbbing painfully.

"Ugh." I grumbled, and opened my eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the harsh lighting that I was greeted to. I sat up and glanced around.

Why was I lying in a stairwell? I reached up the rub my head, but was greeted by my strangely woman-like hand.

"Huh?" My voice sounded very different too.

"Huh." I repeated, "What the hell?"

I stood up, but was greeted by a heavy head rush, black spots danced in my vision before it cleared.

That never happened...

I glanced down, I was in work clothes. Black slacks, and a frilly yellow shirt... pardon me... WOMEN'S work clothes.

I had tits too. I groped them violently as soon as that special realization hit me.

"Boobs?"

Not my voice... more like...

"Oh my God..."

I ran up the stairs, work heels clicking the floor, hard, breaking through to the the top door and stumbled onto a blue tiled floor.

"Lidner. I'm glad you could join us. That power outage wasn't very pleasant, was it?"

Near...

The little freak was sitting on the floor surrounded by a freaky army of freakish toys, his freaky hand-made freak dolls, with his little freak hand twirly freakishly around a freaky lock of freak white curls.

He was so beautiful. It made my heart turn into a lump that swelled up painfully into my throat.

So achingly beautiful. And any eyes were simply blind if they couldn't see the raw beauty that was Near.

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**I'm thinking... this might be a two-shot... or a three-shot. Depends on how much people like it. ^-^;;**


	2. Shaken

** Well! I now have time to write this story. Thank you to all you wonderful reviewers! I am so glad this story is actually liked. Hahahah!. Now I'm worried I'm going to disappoint some people. YELL AT ME IF THERE'S SOMETHING CRAPPY OKAY?**

** :O**

** Anyways... **

** At the moment I'm babysitting a baby moose. Well actually, we found an English mastiff on the side of the road today and he's a pussy of a dog... He tried to have sex with my other dog, (who is male) and he gets scared whenever my mom leaves. So he's just laying on my bed right now, crying himself to sleep. And when I sing to him he starts howling. D: We're taking care of him, so sorry for the slow update. **

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**Mello's POV**

I grit my, or rather Hal's teeth, as I watched Near just sit carelessly on the floor. How can he be so calm when I'm so angry?

I hated him.

But I loved him all the same. I want him. I craved him...

"What's the matter, Lidner?" A black haired man stared at me from across the room, he must be Gevanni.

"I'm fine." I said in my new womanly voice, "I need to speak with Near. Alone." I gripped my hips, slowly batting my eyelashes.

I was soo good at this!

Near stiffened, but nodded and said, "That's fine. Commander Rester, Gevanni, please leave."

They stared at him, then at me, confused, but left anyways, leaving me alone with... him.

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**Hal's POV**

I blinked open my eyes quietly. I'm still asleep on the couch? I sat up quickly, but soon regretted it. I awaited the head rush patiently from my nice warm spot on the seat.

No head rush...?

Huh, that's nice to hear. I stood up, but it was slightly harder than I expected. Leather constricted every little bit of me. Disabling my ability to breathe.

I clawed at my shirt, yanking down the zipper and tossing the brown leather vest that looked strangely like Mello's across the room.

My eyes narrowed, what is going on? I started to walk towards the vest, but heard the creak of even more leather.

Leather pants? Those have to go to. I tugged on the laces and freed myself. I held the pants and stared at them hard, eyes narrowing. Why was I in Mello's clothes? I felt a breeze that wasn't very pleasant and slowly glanced down. But as I did, golden hair fell into my eyes. Not my usual blonde locks...

Why was I naked?

"!" A large gloved hand loomed in front of my face as I lifted my arm.

Why did I have a penis? Is this some sort of prank?

"Mello?" I called out, but was greeted by his voice... coming from my lips. "What's going on?" I asked out loud, testing the voice that was most definitely not mine.

I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious... I was naked! I grabbed the couch blanket and wrapped it around me, then proceeded to the bathroom.

I was almost afraid to look into the mirror. But I did so anyways.

A scarred face of a golden blonde man stared back at me. "Mello?"

His voice came back at me, but from a different perspective. Coming from my lips. Or... now Mello's lips.

This was bad. Very bad.

I felt a strong urge to call Near, and get some help, but I didn't want him involved. Plus, he can't know that Mello is hiding with me.

That would be the end of the world.

_~ "LIDNER! You have been lying to me this whole entire time? Now that Mello knows too much, our Kira case has been delayed now more than ever! AAAARRGG!" Near heaved one of his giant robots at me, striking me on the head. He plucked five flaming ninja stars from midair and with a quick flip of his wrist they hissed past me. He did a round-off backhand spring towards me and kicked me square in the gut. ~_

Okay, so that was an exaggeration. A big one. But I didn't need bullshit from a twelve year old right now. I should just find Mello and see what's going on...

I stalked into the kitchen and grabbed the house phone off of it's cradle, dialing his cell phone.

_Ring Ring Ring!_

Oh. I turned to the couch, where the ringing was screeching from.

"Dammit." I hissed, why would he leave his phone here?

Unless...

"No." I grumbled, suddenly remembering the old movie I used to watch as a kid...

Freaky Friday. Ring a bell? The one with Jodie Foster. Not the really horrid newer one with a drunken Lyndsay Lohan. No... The older version, the original. I could recall that they didn't just get changed into a different body. But rather switch bodies.

Impossible. That kind of stuff doesn't happen. Well, stuff like Death Notes don't happen...

"Oh God." I gasped.

What if, I called my phone? Like in Freaky Friday it's possible Mello could be in my body.

That made me feel sick to my stomach...

Not just Mello being in my body, but the fact that I'm using a movie for teenage girls to guide me through this.

I dialed my number. And on the fourth ring, someone picked up.

"Hello."

Near?

"H-Hello?"

"Who am I speaking to?"

Why did Near have my phone? What is this? "This is..."

Think, think... Who am I?

"Joe." Oh so graceful, Hal... "I'm Hal's boyfriend."

I did have an ex-boyfriend named Joe... But the problem is, he's dead. So if I can just talk to Mello, I can get things settled before Near finds out that Mello was with me.

"I'm sorry, Joe. I'm Hal's boss. And she's a bit... b-busy at the moment. I'll let her know her boyfriend called."

"I need to talk to her." I snapped.

"Mello?"

Shit.

I hung up.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I needed a shower.

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**Mello's POV**

I grinned at Near from my spot on the computer desk as he shut Hal's phone. He turned to look at me.

"Lidner, stop this. I'm pretty sure that was Mello on the phone. Why was he calling you?"

What was the name Near addressed the other person on the phone? I think it was... "Was it Joe?"

"Yes." He looked at me, dark gray eyes scrutinizing me. I loved that about him. He wasn't just like stupid girls who just blinked at you happily, awaiting your command, waiting... rather than try to figure you out. Someone who understands... someone who wants to.

I'm glad I can be a mystery to Near. It's something to be proud of. But... now that I'm in Hal's body, it wasn't as much of a victory. Still, if it actually was Hal, Near wouldn't even bother. Stupid bitch. He doesn't care about her. Or does he?

"Oh, that's my boyfriend. Why, did he sound like Mello?" I smirked, stalking over to him.

"Lidner, put your shirt on." He turned away, shielding his eyes.

He was such an innocent child. So beautiful and pure.

I'm going to rip it away from him. Steal his purity. It'll be easy. Like taking candy from a baby.

I pressed him up against the computer desk, rubbing my new breasts over his face. It was easier than I expected. Hal wasn't as flat chested as she looks. She likes to hide behind all those ugly business suits.

Near hasn't grown a bit. I gained at least a good 3 inches when I somehow got in Hal's body, and Near was only a short little five footer.

So cute.

I pressed my chest into his face. His angry protests muffled by my boobs.

"You like that, Near?" I laced my manicured fingers within his hair, "Don't you want me? I know you do."

He shoved me away, with a lot more strength than I expected. Near, since when could you defend yourself?

"Lidner." He grabbed my wrists, eyes glittering darkly, "Enough. Your advances to me are in vain. I do not share your lust."

How dare he reject me? Even in this body, I'm still MELLO! You don't reject me! I'm fucking amazing! He thinks he's so much better than me. He thinks he's smarter, stronger... Hah, Near, you don't know what I can do.

You're far inferior to me. I'll win.

I tried to pull my wrists away but he held firm. Huh?

"When I let go." He said, "You are going to go back to your home, and this will not happen, nor be spoken of again. Have I made myself clear?"

Tears pricked at my eyes. Why did his rejection hurt so much? Why does he want me to be in pain? Why does he think he's so great?

"Why are you crying?" A silver eyebrow raised in slight confusion.

"Let go." I snapped, swallowing the lump in my throat and blinking back the rejected tears.

He let go and slowly started to inch away from me, slinking towards his toys.

How dare that little bastard!

I ran over to him, pouncing him, grabbing his hair and kissing him violently.

His lips were rougher than I expected. Chapped... But that was okay... I was kissing Near. I WON! The little brat will never be better than me at this.

I let my tongue slip out of my mouth, trying to pry Near's lips open, but suddenly found myself on my back. Near sitting on top.

"Lidner. Go back home. You're suspended from the SPK for a week. If this happens again..."

He bit his lip. I could tell he couldn't fire me. Or Hal... But still me. Oh whatever... He needed all the people he could get. And he couldn't afford to lose someone as good of an agent as Hal.

"Near! Just take it!" I reached up but he grabbed me, pinning me down as he got up.

When did he get so strong! This wasn't fair!

"Lidner. Go home."

"No! Near! You dumb twit! Just let go! I'm going to fuck you so hard up that tight ass that you're going to bleed green! You... you suck my cock right now!"

He made a face and put on his headset, "Rester, Gevanni. Please come pick up Lidner. Make sure that she's home safely and hire a good psychiatrist and see to it that her mental health is restored.

"NO NEAR!" I shrieked, jumping up and kicking over all his toys.

Wow, I bet if I could see myself once I calmed down, I'd seem like a total ass...

But never mind that, because Rester came in and flung me over his shoulder, and as he walked out, I looked up to see Near quietly picking up his toys, looking shaken.

Good. I've gotten to him.

I love him so much.


	3. Nom nom!

**Yayy! New chapter in! Mmm.. Enjoy. **

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**Mello's POV**

Rester just dropped me off in front of Hal's apartment complex, leaving me standing at the front door in the rain. The bastard.

He poked his head out the window, "Get some rest, Lidner... And don't touch Near again do you understand? We don't need him distracted. Now, I don't know what you were thinking but don't let it happen again."

I grit my teeth, that selfish asshole! "Well you can't have him all to yourself!"

His mouth popped open, face contorted in confusion. "Uh... I beg your pardon?" His eyes wide.

Sneering, I turned away, stalking inside the air conditioned apartment lobby, the cold air freezing me in my wet work clothes. I shuffled over to the elevator and punched the button, waiting for the doors to open.

Once they did, I hurried in, pressing number four, Hal's floor number. I was all alone in the elevator, I leaned against the wall, sighing and waiting impatiently.

The doors opened once more in a quiet hushed sound and I stepped out, holding back to let some teenage boys pass before walking down the hall and knocking on Hal's door.

**Hal's POV**

_Bang bang bang! _

I jumped at the sudden noise.

I bit my lip and hugged my towel closer to me, "Who is it?" I called out.

"Let me in!" The person behind the door yelled.

Me?

I crept towards the door, gnawing on my lip so hard I could feel blood trickling down my chin.

The person banged again. They seemed very impatient. Maybe it actually was Mello in my body.

Why do people get so impatient sometimes? Is it always that hard to wait nicely? I mean, I can understand being a bit anxious to get what you want, but life isn't going anywhere. It's not like you'll die right where you stand. Unless some freak accident happened, but what are the odds of that?

I slowly pulled open the door, but it was shoved open from the other side, bumping me in the head.

I gazed right into my own golden eyes.

"Me?"

"Hmph... Hal, you stole my body. Bitch."

"Mello." I stared at him, in my body... How dare he steal my body, then call me the thief? "Where were you, and why are you wet?"

"At your shitty job. I woke up on a stairwell. And because dickhole Chester left me in the rain." The stairwell...? The blackout!

"I woke up on the couch." Is that where he was during the power shortage?

"Hmm... so this whole body switching thing is real." He trudged over to the couch and flopped down, grabbing a chocolate bar from the coffee table, peeling it open.

"Yeah... It is." I watched him chomp through the whole thing in ten seconds and reach for another.

"H-Hey! What are you doing? You can't just eat all that chocolate." I protested, "That quickly?"

"I'm thinking." He went through the second one.

"No no!" I tore the third one from his hand as he was unwrapping it, I stared back at my angered face, it felt so strange seeing myself look right back at me.

"Give it back, Hal." He growled, golden eyes flashing wildly.

"No. I have a diet to watch! I may be thin, but I work at it." I snapped, holding the chocolate away from him.

"I just need to think." He muttered, reaching for another one on the table.

"If your trying to find us a way out of this predicament, then you can eat all the chocolate you want." If it would help...

"Uh... I will start thinking now." He grabbed handfuls of chocolate bars and kicked off his heels spreading out his legs and chewing up loads of chocolate. It was very odd seeing me in that type of position.

Whenever he did it, he always resembled some sort of leather-clad pornstar... Not as if that were a bad thing.

"What were you thinking about earlier?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

"None of your damn business." He grouched. Wow! Did my face really look that horrible when I was angry?

He glanced up, "Anyways... quit standing there in a damn towel. What the fuck did you do? Go take a shower because it always makes you feel better? Or did you want to take the time to look at my shit?" He gestured towards the lower half of my body, "Am I bigger than Near?"

I blinked... WHAT?

"W-What?" I clutched the towel tighter, "I don't know what Near looks like! Wuh-?"

WAIT A SECOND.

"What... what did you do at my job?" My eyes opened so wide they watered.

"Hmm. I almost got my way with Near..." He leaned his head in his hand, elbow propped on the arm rest.

"Oh... oh? You didn't! Are... Are you trying to get me fired?"

"Near wouldn't dare fire you." He smirked, "He needs all the agents he can get."

"Don't touch him!" I cried, "The Kira case is FAR more important than your needs. Do you understand? He needs all the concentration he can get. You can't do this!"

He stood up, eyes wild and grabbed me, gritting his teeth, "I'll do whatever the FUCK I want!" He leaned closer, "You know why? Because I'm the best, and you just watch me. I'll fuck Near over so hard he won't even be able to register who Kira is! I don't care about Kira right now. All I care about it Near. That's who we're discussing. Leave shithead Kira out of this. I'll get to him later!"

I grabbed his wrists and pushed him back. He was taller now that he was in my body, but I was stronger, I pinned him on the couch, holding him easily as he writhed below me.

"Mello, you will not do anything to Near. Because now I'm in control!" So this is how Mello felt with all this power. But the towel had slipped off now, and I realized what was going on, I stepped back, grabbing the towel and wrapping it over me again. I hurried into the bedroom searching through my drawers for some kind of clothing I could fit into.

"Bitch!" He shrieked at me, I heard the sound of glass breaking, "I'll kill you! You just wait!" I heard thudding footsteps and the sound of the door slamming.

"No! Mello!" I pulled some sweats on and dove into a baggy old football jersey, "No come back!" I ran out the door, bumping into a few older women.

"Ah!" One of them cried, "Look at that scar!"

Oh that's right. I was in Mello's body; I must frighten people now...

"Oh excuse me miss." I smiled politely, and ran down the hall. Searching for Mello in my stolen body.

**Mello's POV**

I sprinted throughout the parking lot like a deranged madman, dodging a couple of cars that honked at me as they tried to pull into their spaces, I flipped them off and kept running, the rain blinding me as I ambled down the pavement.

I came to a halt at the curb, signaling for a taxi cab so I could climb in. Hal didn't have any money on her body so I fished around in my pockets until I found her police badge, "Take me to the tall glass building on Gateway. This is my pay." It would be useless to say 'Take me to the SPK headquarters. I'm actually a CIA agent on capturing Kira.' As if the dumb cabbie would even know what that is...

"Yes ma'm." He nodded and pulled away from the curb.

"Shut up." I grumbled, glowering out the window, wishing I could have some damn chocolate right about now. I glanced at the clock, it was late, almost 12:00.

It took about five minutes until we were in front of the SPK building, I kicked the car door open and fled into the building, I punched the elevator button.

As the elevator slowly rose, I felt a huge smirk sliding across my face. It was so large that my jaw began to ache.

The elevator finally swooshed open and I stepped out. I walked to the large doors that lead into the SPK room, pressing my thumb to the little red pad. I waited until the doors beeped, signaling that my thumbprint was valid.

The entryway opened and I was given full access to a Near lying on the floor, his head resting on a teddy bear, robot toy in hand, eyes closed.

Was... he asleep?

No.

That was far too convenient... Much too convenient.

I stepped in, glancing around cautiously. We were alone? Impossible. Either I was dreaming, or there was some sort of trap set up, with Near as the beautiful lure.

Whether this was a trap or dream, I'm going for it.

I slowly crept towards him, knees bent slightly, in the event someone jumped me, I would be prepared. But nothing happened, even as I was hovering over him, no one came. The little brat didn't even wake up.

Too easy. I smirked, and grabbed his hair.

"Wakey, wakey!" I laughed bitterly and jerked his head back.

He gasped, eyes opening, "Lidner!" He yelled, blinking his eyes rapidly, trying to squeeze out the sleep.

"Mmm!" I licked my lips and ducked down to kiss him, he struggled beneath me.

"Lidner! Enough!" He whipped his head to the side, allowing me access to his pale delicious-looking neck.

I sunk my teeth right into it, lapping at his sweet tasting skin until the flavor of metallic blood graced my tongue.

He gasped, "Stop this! Now! R-Rester!"

Near squeaked high and loud, like a little mouse as my hand grabbed his crotch, massaging it until I felt him grow hard.

"Mm Near. I didn't know you could make noises like that." I sat up, straddling him, pinning his arms down with my knees, "Just like a little bitch!" I threw my head back and laughed.

"Lidner!" Someone screamed, and it wasn't Near.

I glanced up to see Gevanni standing in the doorway of the SPK room, staring at me in horror.

"Go away!" I threw Near's robot at him and he dodged it quickly.

"Get off of him!" The black-haired man dashed over to me, grabbing my waist and pulling.

I clung to Near tightly so Gevanni would have no choice but to drag around both of us.

He couldn't and lost his grip. Near grunted lowly as we landed hard on the tile floor together in a heap. I smiled and cuddled into his hair. Closing my eyes, breathing deeply in his scent, savoring every little bit of it.

"MELLO!" Shrieked a familiar voice.

My eyes snapped open.

Ugh... Lidner ruins EVERYTHING!

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**SUSPENSE! **

**Ahem, anyways, I don't want this story to go on too long... This is what.. the third chapter? This will go on no longer than 6 chapters. So expect a swap-back to happen soon, and... maybe some smecks! =D**

**Mello: Hah! Maybe? I've been waiting for that moment...  
**

**Rai: Maybe it's not between you and Near. **

**Near: -Frowns- **

**JUST KIDDING! Excuse me... Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. I kind of enjoyed it myself. Is this very humorous to you?**

**I didn't think so either... D: Any ideas on how to make some funnies?  
**


	4. Victorious

**It's over. This is the last chapter. I'm proud of myself for this story. I'm also proud that I was able to get that many reviews in 3 chapters. I love you all. **

**Anyways, warning, this chapter contains sexual content. Also, this is my first flat out sex scene... BEAR WITH ME. D:  
**

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**Hal's POV**

Mello grabbed Near's face and turned his head away from me, he grit his teeth and growled ferociously, golden eyes bloodshot and psychotic looking.

I bit my lip and edged closer to him, "Mello. Release him."

Gevanni staggered away from Mello and Near on the floor, he whipped out his gun and pointed it at me, "M-Mello! Sir, should I arrest him?"

"I'm not Mello!" I cried. I wasn't going to hide the secret of this horrid body switch any longer, "He is! Somehow during the blackout we switched bodies! And he's been using it to his advantage towards Near!"

"Lidner! Shut your mouth!" Mello snapped, leaning down to kiss Near.

And that's when the power flickered out...

At first, nothing happened. But then, I began to feel dizzy and sick, I felt myself sink to the ground, using my hands to break my fall.

"Ughh." Mello groaned.

There was a crash and a loud hiss, and Gevanni yelled, "What was that?"

"I'm sorry Gevanni, that was me." Near responded from somewhere else in the room, closer to me, he must have gotten away from Mello.

But I wasn't able to register anymore than that, because I felt myself lose all consciousness.

**Mello's POV**

I opened my eyes and was greeted with clearer vision. The lights were back on, and I was laying on the floor of the SPK. My memory flying back to me as I remembered what happened.

I slowly sat up, and half-expected a head rush. But none came. I grinned, and glanced down.

No breasts, no work clothes, the golden locks in my eyes were definitely mine. I looked around, Near was standing beside me, speculating me with his head cocked, Hal was still lying on the floor, and Gevanni had a very convenient gun in his hand, and he had it pointed right at a sleeping Hal.

I smirked, they still thought Hal was me. Excellent.

I swung my legs around, swooping them right under Near, sending him to the ground. I made my round back and knocked Gevanni off his feet, gun flying right into my hands.

I jumped up, swaying slightly, knees bent, and prepared for a fight. Near began to pick himself up, but I pushed him down with my barefoot.

"Lidner what is the meaning of this? Stop playing around! We need to find a way to get Mello out of your body." He glanced at Hal, "Preferably before he wakes up." He picked himself up, and held his hand out, probably for the gun in my hand.

I started laughing, hard, this was just too good, they were so stupid!

Gevanni stared at me in horror, "That's not Lidner is it?"

"I don't believe so." Near slowly put his hands on his head, in a surrendering gesture.

"So Lidner _was_ just trying to have her way with you!" Gevanni cried, glancing at Hal on the floor.

"I don't believe so. It seems like something Mello would do, so it is more likely." He glanced at me, "He's been trying since Wammy's."

"Yeah. And I would have gotten you too! If it weren't for you meddling-" Wait...

I lunged forward and grabbed Near, spinning us around to face Gevanni, "Get out." I pointed the gun at him, "Hurry up. And take that with you." I nodded towards Lidner.

"It's okay Gevanni, I'll talk with him." Near assured the frightened raven.

Talk with me... I grinned and couldn't stop. I finally won!

Gevanni scooped Lidner up and carried her out, the doors shutting behind him.

"If you'll release me, I can lock the doors."

I did just that, but followed him closely, he tapped around on his keyboard, and I heard a beep signaling that the doors were locked, then he turned to me.

"Near, why were you so reluctant in Hal's body?" I asked, remembering the way he fought 'Hal' every step of the way.

He just shook his head and stepped closer, looking up at me with those wide gray eyes. So adorable.

"Don't think of this as winning Mello." He started to unbutton his shirt.

"I think of this as the greatest victory of my life." I argued.

"And that's why I have always loved you." He tossed the shirt aside, "Go ahead." He spread his arms quietly.

I didn't need an invitation, I gently pressed our lips together, my arm reaching around to massage his back until he relaxed into me.

He sighed a very content sigh.

"You know Near..." I muttered against his soft ivory neck, "You knew you had this coming. I don't understand why all those years you rejected me at Wammy's."

He ignored me. Taking Hal's old baggy jersey in his hands and tugging at it, "Off." He ordered.

"Don't tell me what to do." I grumbled, taking it off anyways and tossing it across the room. I grabbed his hands and lifted them to my chest.

He smiled, not breaking eye-contact. I felt my heart becoming a painful lump in my throat. And he always wondered why I wanted him. The ability to do that, is a gift.

Near's hands dropped from my chest, he glanced at Hal's horrid sweats and the erection visibly poking through, "Take those off."

"No. Don't tell me what to do." I will take my pants off when I'm ready. … Okay I'm ready. I tore them off, pants nothing more now, than a cotton pool at my feet.

"No underwear?"

"None." I murmured, arms lowering from his back, down to his waist, "And anyway. Why am I the only one naked. You too. Now."

Near took off his pants, muttering something under his breath about being the only one to order him around.

I lowered him to the floor, and Near gasped at the cold tile coming into contact with his bare back, "Th-that's cold." He protested.

Ugh... "Don't spoil everything with words you big-headed twit."

He just sighed and spread his legs as I leaned down, allowing me to come in-between. I wiggled three fingers in front of his face, and laid them over his lips. He parted his lips and I slipped them in.

Near's tongue flicked around my fingers, while coating them in his saliva. I pulled them out and stroked his face before pushing one finger inside of him, into his warmth.

He closed his eyes and exhaled a shuddering breath slowly. Gray eyes popped wide open as I slipped in another finger, I began to scissor. He arched his back, and I assumed I brushed his special spot. I shoved into where I thought it was again and watched as his already hard member, grew taller and harder.

I couldn't tell if he was ready for the next digit, but went for it anyways.

Mistake. He clawed at the ground hissing through his teeth, neck and back both curved. His throat greatly exposed, I leaned down and kissed him on his small adam's apple apologetically.

I removed my fingers, and watched as his body returned to a normal stance, he stared up at me with wide worried eyes, his arrogant attitude gone like the wind.

I smirked and couldn't stop the words forming in my throat, "What's the matter, Near? Too much?" Bad call.

He didn't say anything, just pulled himself away, sliding across the floor, a smirk of his own growing on his face.

"N-No..." I disagreed lightly, "Come back here." I grabbed his hips and tugged him back.

"Watch yourself Mello. It would be a shame if you turned me off with your petty rivalry problems."

"Petty rivalry-?" I grit my teeth, and yanked him back so hard his head clunked the cold tile.

While he was shaking off the pain, I slammed myself inside of him.

"AUGH!" He half-groaned half-shrieked.

"Mm yeah Near!" I rocked back and forth, nails digging into his thin creamy thighs, I leaned over him, "Hurts doesn't it?" I whispered, my voice hoarse and raspy.

He bit his lip and kept silent, but I knew I already won. I was victorious!

I grabbed his long forgotten member and pumped him.

Come on Near... Take it like a bitch. I know you have it in you.

I slowed, pushing in deeper, trying to find that spot again, and once he arched his back, leaning up into me, I started to pick up the pace, pounding right into that special spot.

"Hah!" He began to moan as I rocked into him.

I used my grip on his thighs to pull him back into me, colliding together. I felt something warm pooling around myself inside of him, and glanced down. Blood was dripping onto my knees, coming from him.

I threw my head back, breathing heavily as I felt the beginnings of an orgasm. Near was close too, his head was thrashing, cheeks flushed the perfect pink, chest heaving, moans escaping his pink little lips.

My breath caught in my throat, and I couldn't stop the warm pleasure that spread throughout my body, down my spine and curling over my toes. I came.

Near followed short after, creaming himself all over my chest and his.

I yanked myself out and we collapsed in a heap together, not bothering to clean ourselves up, or get up. Too tired for that...

But all I could utter before falling asleep was, "I win."

Near murmured a slurred, "Just this round." In an annoyed agreement before he fell asleep as well.

What he meant by that... I'll always wonder.

**Epilogue Mello's POV**

I had lost my place to stay at Hal's apartment, because now everyone knew that she was in contact with me. I haven't seen Near since that day. And there haven't been anymore blackouts to prove Hal's theory of the cause of the body switch. I finally won that round against Near, and had eventually gotten into contact with my old friend Matt. He's changed a lot since I've last seen him, but hot or not, my heart belongs to Near, always. And even though Matt became a way to release my sexual tension, no amount of lust for him would change my love for Near.

But anyways, Kira is dead and gone, and I still haven't seen my Near. Every night, I'm stuck with my hand or Matt. But that's alright with me.

I've been thinking about going to see Near... Just need to buy a ticket back to Los Angeles. That's where he was now. Probably take Matt along. He was a good dog, he could withstand a lot of shit. I could just make him sit and watch, or make him join. He doesn't really care. Just as long as he's with me.

I like bending people to my will. It just goes to show you that I'm always number one, ruler of the world or not. I'm the best.

* * *

**Yayy! It's over! All over! And I feel good about this! The sex bit made me feel a little dirty. And the fact my friend was reading it over my shoulder and she goes, "WAIT! THESE ARE GUYS!"**

**Yes... she's retarded. Well, I hoped you all liked it! Thank you for reading my story! Hugs and love to all of you!**


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